Showing someone love when they are well behaved is easy Dogs never lie about love shirt. Mothers and fathers owe their children love all the time, even when they’re being awful in fact, children need love the most when they’re being awful, because that’s when they need the most help. Now, loving someone doesn’t mean “let them do whatever they want,” that’s the opposite of love. But you can set strict limits without hitting your child. Even if you have to physically restrain a child who’s being violent and endangering themselves or others, you should do it as lovingly as you can and certainly not verbally abuse them. Not saying I’m the perfect dad myself. Far from it. But even I know what’s right and what children deserve. Please know you deserve, always, to be loved and treated with compassion. If your mother didn’t give you that, well, that’s her problem, not something you did wrong. You have become your own man, and are starting your OWN family. Your wife absolutely must be the most important person in your life. And you must be the most important person in her life. If either of you are not #1 to the other, your marriage will be in dangerous territory. Now of course, you still love your mom, and you should still visit her, and let your kids see her, and continue to be a part of her life.
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And the same for your wife’s parents. (Assuming of course that neither of your parents are abusive that is.) But ultimately it is your wife that you are building a life with, so you are both beholden to each other before anyone else. My daughter and I are close and loving to one another. My son uses the same gaslighting techniques on me, but I am slowly learning. Once a week I simply remind him that I love him and do not respond to his negative comments or lies. Another technique that I just heard about is to shut them down with a “possibly”, or “interesting you feel that way comment”. For instance, “everyone says you’re crazy” respond with “it’s interesting that the world feels that way.” You are a total bitch, “possibly”. They have no where else to go with it. If you try to have a conversation, it won’t work, because in their minds, they are right and you are wrong, so there is no winning.