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Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about how you feel. You need attention, too Vintage cats awesome since 1989 shirt. You just won’t get it from her. Build a reliable support system apart from her, made of family or friends. In my experience, nothing with her has ever changed. But changing how I deal with her has made me so much more healthy in the long run. Yes, look into what narcissism is. There’s overt toxic narcissism, and then there’s what I think your mother and mine could be: covert narcissists. They really do love us. They just suck at it. It takes most of us decades to figure this out, and many people never do; they just suffer. You’re doing great, just by being aware. First off, feeling lonely sometimes is perfectly normal. It means you have a need to share, and a need to personal contact. However, how far you let this personal contact go is a decision you make yourself. By opening up you make yourself vulnerable, I suspect you keep a lot to yourself. Acceptance is another part. A lot of people think it’s important to have a lot of friends. That’s utter BS. You only need 1 person to share what you want to share. Ultimately the harsh truth is that you are always alone, since nobody can understand the depths of you.

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But that is ok, since you can feel warmth as well by people who show their love, even if they don’t really understand you. So the things that hurts the most is expectations. Once you accept that having your mom, brother and maybe 1 good friend is enough, you can settle on that, and see the relationship only as an extra. Then see who you feel comfortable discussing it with and try to make that happen one-on-one. Most people feel happy when someones dares to share, and will happily share back. Another possibility is that you are keeping a really dark secret that nobody knows about, and that you feel you can’t tell anyone. You have to tell at least one person, in order to feel that the burden of that secret is off your chest. Finally, something most people forget is that you could suffer from sleep deprivation, chemical or hormonal imbalance, which highly effects your emotional state.